Why High Functioning People Self-Sabotage

Back when I was drinking and smoking all the time, I listened to a lot of hard rock music. Now, when I hear some of those same songs with a clearer mind, I wonder why I ever liked them. The songs haven't changed. They just don't resonate with me anymore, because the energy they were created in isn't the energy I'm living in now.

I'm sharing the music story because it's the clearest way I know to explain why high achievers self-sabotage, and why it's so hard to see when you're the one doing it.

The pace that built your success needs a way to cope

High-functioning people have become accustomed to producing at a certain level, and we're very good at it. Keeping that pace takes something, though, and most of us have found a way to cope.

After a long day, we're frazzled, so we reach for fast food instead of cooking, or a glass of wine to unwind and calm the mind down. We reach for our phone, or one more episode of the latest show we're binge-watching. It's kind of like finding a bruise and not knowing where it came from. When you're going really fast, you run into things without noticing it at the time.

These habits are part of how you've kept producing at a high level. The real question is what they're costing you, and whether that way of operating can hold what you want to create next.

Why high achievers self-sabotage

Think of the old picture of a creative genius. In the show Mad Men they were smoking in the office and drinking at work, and being highly creative. Rock stars used drugs and alcohol to create their music. They needed something to shut off the busyness of their mind and get into a creative mode, and that pattern got handed down to the rest of us.

We pick up these habits from the people around us, from the news and commercials, and from what we watch and listen to. Then the self-sabotaging part of the mind backs them up. It tells you you deserve to relax, that you should have that drink, that you have enough on your plate, and that you need to take it easy and rest. It gives you excuses to stay inside the limitation.

In my upcoming solo book, Finding the Source: Realize your Purpose & Power, I wrote it this way: what once worked can become a habit that limits you from discovering another way.

Your energy goes into everything you create

What most high achievers don't see is where their energy goes. When you create something while you're depleted, numbed out, or running on busy energy, that energy goes into your projects, your webinars, and the way you serve your people. When you create out of excitement and joy, that joy comes through, and it becomes part of the result you offer.

The people on the other end feel it. Have you ever noticed that when you're around someone who's put together, lined up, and joyful, you feel better too? Your creations work the same way. When someone comes to your webinar or into a networking room with you while you're in joy, love, and receptivity, they can resonate with that energy and feel inspired, raised up, and motivated.

How to notice what you reach for, without judging yourself

“Noticing is power. Awareness is choice.”

Those two lines are from my book, and they're where this starts. You don't have to fix anything, and you don't have to judge yourself. You notice where you're feeling stressed and what you reach for, so you become aware of the pathway you keep choosing to help yourself feel better.

Noticing is the surface level. The deeper level is getting curious. Why do I want a glass of wine after work? Why do I want fast food right now? What's happening to me in this moment? In the book I put it this way: what substance do you consume to take a break from your reality? Start asking yourself and track it.

Once you notice, choosing the other pathway can feel uncomfortable while you're making the shift. Then you notice the difference, and the shift can happen quickly.

You don't have to figure it out alone

High-functioning people are problem solvers, so we want to figure things out for ourselves. Underneath, we don't want to be judged or look like we don't know what we're doing. Figuring it out alone costs you time. When you ask for help, you can shift much faster, and your true self, who you really are, isn't judging you at all.

Some habits need more support to shift, and some need a safe place to look within to get to the root.

This is why I created Life Force Activation™. It's a live guided practice on Zoom. You're off camera and on mute, and I guide you into your mind, heart, and body, into a connection that is always there inside of you. A couple of times a week, for not very long, you come back to Source within. When you tap into your potential regularly, the practice starts clearing what's been holding you back. It works without having to work hard at it.

If you read my blog How to Bring Your Vision Into Form, this is the same practice I use to feed a vision while I build it.

You can try it for two weeks for $1, and after that it's $50 a month.

Questions about why high achievers self-sabotage

Why do high achievers self-sabotage?
The habits that help them keep a high pace, like a drink to unwind or fast food when they're rushed, become a pathway they choose without noticing, and those habits affect the energy that goes into everything they create.

Is a glass of wine after work self-sabotage?
It can be, when you're reaching for it so you don't have to feel what you're feeling. Notice when you want it, and what's happening in you in that moment. You can still have the wine while you’re noticing.

How do I stop self-sabotaging?
Start by noticing what you reach for when you're stressed, without judging yourself. Then get curious about why. Some habits need more support to shift, so ask for help.

What do you reach for: food, a drink, your phone, or another episode? Tell me in the comments.